"Lupus does not have me" by Charlene

Lupus does not have me

It certainly does not. After 3 flares, a stroke, 4 seizures, 4 blood transfusions and 6 rounds of chemo, life for me still goes on.

Because I have lupus, but lupus does not have me.

I’m often mistaken for being lazy, uninspired. If only people knew it takes 15 medications to start my day.
Others ask me, “how do I do it?” I tell them I have no choice, I’m not dead yet”.

When I’m faced with a challenge, I brush it off and tell myself, “It’s nothing, I’ve been through worse things before”.
Like learning to walk again, losing my hair. Being stuck in a hospital room, where life carried on outside my window while death hovered over me as I slept at night.

They told my family I had a 50% chance of survival, yet I live to tell the tale.

How you may ask?

Because I have lupus, but lupus does not have me.

Despite having lupus, I am many things. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a student, a co-worker, a friend, a violinist.

Someday I will be a mother, a wife, a teacher, a university graduate.
Now and forever, I hope I am an inspiration.

Because I have lupus, but lupus does not have me.

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Title: Lupus does not have me
Writer: Charlene
Age: 26
Type of arthritis: Lupus (Systemic Lupus Erythematosus)

Writer's statement: In the [preceding] piece I express my thoughts and experiences living with Systemic Lupus, especially in the past 6 years, when the disease has become more severe and difficult to manage. As editor for Get in the Loop (online newsletter for young Canadians with lupus), we often look for submissions that are uplifting and inspiring, but I realize that for some, their experiences with lupus can be quite dark and hopeless. I tried to show a balance between despair and hope, between setbacks and triumphs, between the sad reality of lupus and the challenge of accepting that reality. Enjoy.

Special note: "Lupus does not have me" was selected for display in Vancouver at The Arthritis Society's 2008 Bluebird Gala celebrating the 60th anniversary of the Society.